Unbearable Suffering: A Personal Fight With the Enigmatic Pain of Cluster Headaches

It began on a overcast weekday in the morning in September 2016. I was working as a educator, trying to settle a new group of students, when a sharp sensation erupted behind my one eye. This was followed by rapid shocks, reminiscent of lightning bolts. As the school day progressed, the pain eased and then returned with greater force. Four times that day I left a colleague with worksheets and ran to the school bathroom to douse my face with cold water. I tried paracetamol, but the pain remained unbearable.

The attacks appeared frequently that fall, and once more in the spring, soon establishing an yearly cycle. September and October were the worst, then February and March. I could anticipate the routine: a warning sensation in the morning, early twinges on the commute, full-blown pain in class by mid-morning. In 2019, a GP eventually sent me to a specialist and I was given a diagnosis with cluster headaches.

This condition often begin with severe discomfort around one eye that persists for three hours.

About 1 in 1000 individuals are affected by the disorder, and men are more often affected. Cluster headaches typically begin with sudden, severe agony around one eye that reaches its peak within a short time and continues for up to three hours. Episodes occur in cycles, daily or several times a day, and are accompanied by tearing eyes, sagging eyelids or face sweating. I have an episodic type, which occurs in seasonal bouts; others have continuous attacks, defined by the absence of extended symptom-free periods.

What unites sufferers is the intensity. One study rated the pain at 9.7 10, higher than bone fractures or pancreatitis. Another discovered a significant percentage of cluster patients reported thoughts of self-harm amid attacks; the figure dropped to 4% when they were not in pain.

One patient, 74, a long-term sufferer from Pembrokeshire, finds this understandable. Her episodes began when she was two. “I would throw myself on the floor and hit my head. That was put down to being spoiled,” she says. Her condition worsened through childhood. Alcohol in her adolescence, similar to many causes, made things more intense. After drinking alcohol at her graduation party, she remembers hardly being able to see on the bus home.

Her family often interpreted her episodes as intoxicated episodes. Support finally came from her father and then from her partner, Rod. “I was very fortunate to find such an exceptional person,” she says. Hobbs found clerical work after relocating, but often concealed her condition. She was fired from one job, partly due to time off during attacks. Her definitive identification came in the early 2000s at a national hospital.

Nevertheless, the failure to plan daily activities around erratic attacks took its effect. She especially disliked being unable to plan social events, being seen as flaky as a colleague, and even having to be cared for by her family during the incapacitation caused by the worst episodes. “It robs you of the small liberties we don't value until they're gone,” she says. She remembers winning tickets for a major concert, only to have an episode inside a facility.


Headaches have been documented across the ages. “The first account of headache originates from the ancient civilizations in 4000BC,” write experts in a book on the topic. They linked the ailment to an malevolent entity who afflicted his victims' heads.

Ancient healing texts propose bizarre treatments for what modern observers would classify as a migraine. In the middle ages, severe headache was recognised as a separate condition, with therapies ranging from bloodletting to other, more superstitious cures.

It was a European doctor who provided the initial comprehensive description of a cluster-type attack. In his medical observations, he speaks of a patient “afflicted with a very severe headache happening and vanishing daily at fixed hours”.

Cluster headaches were only formally recognised by international headache societies in the late 1980s. From the 1960s to the late 1990s, they were thought to be caused by a problem with a key blood vessel that delivers blood to the head. Leading specialists in diagnosing the disorder note this.

In 1998, scientists released the results of a study for which they had triggered cluster headaches in patients and monitored the episodes in a brain scanner. The results, published in a major medical publication, showed increased activity of the hypothalamus, which is in charge for human circadian rhythm, when patients were in discomfort, and a reduction when they recovered.

Despite such advances, diagnosis remains delayed. One man's attacks started in 1986 and felt like “a modelling balloon being inflated behind my one eye”. GPs thought he had a sinus issue; he underwent four operations before eventually being correctly identified in recently, after a doctor looked up his symptoms.

Neurologists say wait times in diagnosing and treatment happen because patients are rarely seen during an episode. “You're exhausted and low, but not in severe pain,” a doctor says. He works by eliminating other primary headache conditions, such as migraine, before confirming cluster headaches. A detailed history is crucial: on which side do symptoms occur? For how long? What season? Are there precipitating factors, such as alcohol? Specific features such as tearing, sagging eyelids and nasal congestion help verify the diagnosis. Once diagnosed, patients may be referred to dedicated centers. But a lot of first go to A&E or are given inadequate treatments.

Dorothy Chapman, in her late seventies, has suffered from the condition for most of her adult life, although she has been free from an attack since 2016. When she was in her twenties, she had her molars extracted because dental professionals misinterpreted her symptoms. She thinks the dental profession still need much more education. When another patient sought help from a charity, it was Chapman who responded. I remember calling a helpline during an bout in early 2021; a calm advisor talked me through oxygen therapy and medication until the episode passed.

National guidelines on management advise that patients are offered high-dose oxygen therapy and/or a anti-migraine drug administered by nasal spray. No oral painkillers or strong analgesics should be used. Preventive choices include verapamil, which reportedly helps manage the attacks of some individuals.

But consultant specialists argue the guidance need updating to reflect a more defined clinical process and help general practitioners avoid incorrect prescriptions. For periodic patients, the treatment window is critical: “The duration of the bout determines the approach.” Brief cycles with infrequent episodes are managed with acute treatment only. More prolonged or more severe bouts require preventives such as verapamil, sometimes combined with steroids. A significant number of patients also receive a nerve block injection during a cycle – an procedure into the side of the skull where the pain is that reduces nerve activity.

The official guidelines need updating to reflect a
Cynthia Avery
Cynthia Avery

A passionate storyteller and cultural critic, Elara explores the intersections of modern life through vivid narratives and deep analysis.

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